This picture reminds me of a week ago today, when I had my first panic attack in front of my mom.
I’ve always managed to run before it psychically takes over or they’ve happened when she hasn’t been around. I could tell it freaked her out and she shouted ‘what are you doing?! Whats wrong with you?!’ I can laugh now cause i can only imagine what i looked like in her eyes because my body was trembling and shaking all over. Through tears told her that I couldn’t help it and managed to get away and just sobbed like a child into a pillow.
She came after me and continued to talk to me and tell me that I couldn’t let things get to me the way I was, that it was going to kill me if I continued to have this level of stress in my life and that I had to move forward.
I told her that I wished it was that easy, but she was right, my moms not the most tactile person you will meet, but she has a massive heart and before she went to bed that night she came to me and gave me a big hug.
That meant a lot, but it also showed me how much seeing me like that must have shook her up too x