This a screen shot of a page taken by me that I came across when I was at my lowest, suicidal and was looking for ways to kill myself. The only way I can explain it was that I was in horrible pain, the toll of mental illness had took over me completely in body and mind. I was having panic attacks every other day and was a trembling shadow of myself, I hated and loathed myself.
Through my phone search engine I typed in the words ‘painless ways to die’ and the reason for this was because I was fed up of the pain, I wanted die I was sick of being in pain and wanted a painless way out I felt like a burden to everyone and just wanted to go, I thought I’d find finally my peace in death. With tears streaming down my face in despair as the pages loaded up, this was the first thing that came to me.
I was so surprised as I read the first words ‘the first way to commit suicide is to kill your old life’ and make a new one one that makes you happy. Sounds silly but doing such a thing had never entered my head I suddenly thought ‘wait I can stop this?’ I can remove the people that are causing me pain I can start a again like a child and build a new life. It was scary and It wasn’t without it relapses but I did it. I honestly don’t know what I would have done had I not come across this at the time I needed to see it but I’m glad that I did.
I hope this helps someone else who may be experiencing an all time low and will be encouraged to stop go back to the beginning strip away the layers that cause you pain. Building a whole new life takes courage, it’s scary but it can be done if anyone reading this needs testimony that you can go from rock bottom to a better place I hope this is it. Don’t be Afraid to start afresh, trust the process and don’t stop until peace is yours. ♥️ love you guys ♥