On international women’s day we’ve been encouraged to blog about what we would tell our younger self. I thought it would be interesting to do, as it would require me to take stock of everything I’ve learned so far, because let’s face it, I’ve learned ALOT!!
So here goes (While writing this I imagined visiting my younger 18 year old self and
speaking into her ear and telling her this stuff):
- You are not
designed for everyone to like you, so stop trying so hard to get people on
side. Popularity doesn’t make you a good person, your behaviour and decisions
- Your feelings and
your voice DOES mean something, no matter what the past told you. Your opinion matters, speak up and believe in what you have to say.
- Speak up when
something or someone hurts you. Stop being so scared and frightened of standing
up for yourself. If it offends them that’s ok, sometimes the truth has to be
told and it hurts.
- Love does not have
to hurt and constant drama isn’t normal.
- You don’t have to attend every drama you are invited too.
- That party girl facade
you play is not real, it is papering over cracks you won’t address and it doesn’t
make you feel good, be honest with yourself.
- You are more resilient and stronger than you know.
- LISTEN to your
instinct and learn to trust it, I know you can hear it so stop ignoring it, it will be the best thing
you will ever do for yourself.
- I know you are naturally
a sensitive person, but everyone doesn’t mean to hurt you, try to understand
where they may be coming from, try to rationalise your feelings.
- Do not align your
life with the expectations of other people, what DO YOU expect from yourself? Think
about it and be that fearlessly.
- BE YOURSELF, that
person you are when everybody leaves and you are alone, yes that person, in
fact be bigger than that person, dream in colour and live out loud.
- You can’t save everybody;
some people need to learn lessons on their own.
- Not everyone is
your friend, and yes, that your one mom told you about years ago, that encouraged you
to wear that horrible outfit but told you looked nice? Yep, she was right about
that one. Your mom will spot the people around you that you shouldn’t call ‘friend’
long before you do.
- If people bring gossip to you about other people, don’t be surprised when they do the same thing to you too.
- Love yourself
more, take care of yourself and seek help for those thoughts, panic attacks,
anxiety and nights you cried yourself to sleep. You don’t have to suffer this alone.
- Make peace with
your past so it no longer has a negative impact on your future.
- Lupus and mental illness may have taken away things from you that you may never get back, but don’t be afraid to start again from that old life, to start afresh it will be the best thing you will ever do for yourself.
- You and your mom
will be fine in the end <3
- When the past comes to revisit, you can make
peace with that past, but you don’t have to invite it to join you in your
- Even though you were told that your hair is
your beauty, you are far more than that, and yes that beautiful heart you have
does count for something, in fact it counts for a lot.
- What people say about you and others says a lot more about them. Remember that you’ve always seen the best in everyone, what does that say about you?!
- Your closest and real friends in life will be revealed,
when you finally become friends with yourself.
- And one that is still a habit for me, especially since starting free your mind is: STOP playing yourself down to make other people feel comfortable, let them feel uncomfortable. Why are you playing everyone’s cheerleader while you play yourself down? NO GIRL there is so much more to you than taking a back seat to make everyone happy, there is room for everybody to be celebrated, humbly claim yours.
I really enjoyed, doing this, I hope it helps somebody else.
Maybe you could try writing one too 🙂
Have a wonderful week to come xXx